About Fatherhood May 16, 2008
Posted by josh in : Family , trackbackI want to kick off this new blog with a re-post of one of my favorite fairly recent posts on my Xanga site. This post means a lot to me personally and I wanted to invite you all to get to know me a bit better by giving you a glimpse into my thoughts and my hearts.
By the way, the picture down below is of me and my Dad, in his office, circa 1993.
Most of my foundation in Biblical knowledge, theology, and doctrine come from my Dad. He was always around to answer my questions, whether as part of a conversation or out of the clear blue. My brain works like a train, just one on a broken track that derails VERY easily. No matter how my brain jumped my Dad always followed and patiently explained very complicated concepts to me (it probably helps that his brain works the same way and derails in the same spots).
While I have countless wonderful memories from my childhood, some of my favorite middle school and high school age memories are sitting in the front seat, late at night, on family trips with everybody else asleep and talking to my dad. Those conversations varied from the history of Islam to early church fathers to supposed Papal inerrancy to whether the large aquatic animal in Jonah was non-tetrapod chordate or mammalian and if animals not native to Eurasia or Africa were on Noah’s ark. 
In the years since I left home I’ve come to understand that not many 12 year olds discuss with their dads how people in the Old Testament made it to Heaven if Jesus didn’t die for their sins until the New Testament. I think that’s a shame.
I think most parents understand that encouraging their children’s questions, exploration, and curiosity early helps the kid to grow up with a better understanding of the world around them and continue to want to learn more. I have an innate want to understand the how and the why behind things. My parents always encouraged my curiosity, even though I’m sure it drove them up the wall sometimes. That’s probably why I’m an engineer. This curiosity extends to every aspect of my life (believe me, it makes my wife CRAZY when I check a doorknob after she already told me it’s locked).
This same concept of early encouragement is probably why I now have a love of exploring the doctrine and theology of my faith. From my first, simple childhood questions about God to sometimes rather complex and often silly adolescent questions I could always sit down with my Dad and he would take the time to give me an answer and explain to me why he answered that way.
Yes, most people don’t have the advantage of having a father who has a masters degree from a seminary and works as a pastor full time, but if my dad had worked 3rd shift at the meat packing plant I am convinced that he would have given me the same attention and effort. He may not have had quite as many answers, but he would have encouraged my looking for them and helped me find them.
Like most parents, I have countless wishes for my daughter’s life. I want her to be happy, and healthy. I want her to grow up and become a strong, beautiful woman. I want her to be successful. I want her to learn to enjoy the simple things in life. I want her (in a VERY long time) to have a family of her own. But more than anything else, I want her to grow up and continuously quest for a closer relationship with Christ. It’s possible that when she’s 18 she will spontaneously decide to learn more about her faith and start trying to figure out why she believes what she believes, but I doubt it, and I definitely won’t bet on it. Instead, it’s my job to encourage her throughout her childhood and become the same open resource for her that my Dad was for me.
I am working very hard to be able to sit down with my daughter in 3, 7, 12, or even 20 years and discuss her questions about God. Do I have a masters degree from seminary? Nope. Do I work in full time ministry? Nope, I spend 45 hours a week at a desk designing big chunks of steel. Does this eliminate my responsibility, my privilege, of being my daughter’s first resource for her spiritual questions? Nope. I may not be a pastor; I am, however, a Dad. I won’t have all the answers, but I’ll help her find the ones I don’t know.
I will read my Bible, read books about the Bible, learn my church history, discuss theology with family and friends, listen to podcast teachings and anything else I can think of. I’ve always done this to some degree just for my personal interest, enjoyment, and my relationship with God. But it’s more than just for me now, it’s also for Lili. So I will focus my efforts to learn the answers to her questions before she asks them. I will always be available for her to ask me those questions. In this, I hope that I can be for her the same fountain of knowledge, encouraging word, and Christian example that my Dad has always been for me.
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Hey Josh,
Welcome aboard. Thanks for a much needed reminder. I am a widow so I have to fill the “dad” role for now. But the parenting responsibility of training a child is the same. Like you, I can get caught up in my seeking and learning and have to constantly remind myself that its for my son.
What is your handle on Xanga? Mine is lisarinri.
Also, how did you paste the picture? I wanted to do that on my new RMM site but can’t figure out how to do it. That’s right, I am no engineer
Lisa, congratulations on being my first commenter (well, other than CMP’s welcome comment!)
There is a little “upload” option underneath where you type the text for the posts, that’s how I inserted the picture.
My Xanga is CraneKid. If you read the posts there you will probably recognize much of the first few posts on here as they will be edited repeats while I get the hang of this. Well, the Xanga also has a lot of pictures of my beautiful wife and daughter which I won’t put as much on here.